How's Kikay

Compared to my Mom, I'm a loser. No, scratch that, compared to anyone, I'm a loser. Right now, without a paying job, living with my Mom in the middle of a crisis, no source of income, no monetary contribution. Not even a donation to those who need it. All I can think about is myself, and I feel awful. I'm so unreliable. When my Mom was my age, she already has 3 kids, juggling family life and working as a university professor teaching 40 or 50 students a day. My friend graduated post grad and in another month taking a board exam to be a broker when she's already a full time architect with a family. How do they manage all of it? Help me, I feel small.

Uncle has not been the same happy person of yesteryear. We have known this as well as his drug use. He had been jailed for it, even. And it was not a pleasant time for the family. Grandma cried a whole lot. Uncle's children cried. We were dismayed. We worried for him. All sorts of feelings. The family did everything to get him out, bailed him out. Grandma took all her money for his bail. It took time. It was a hefty amount, our country have strict drug policies. I have no idea if Uncle begged to be let out. I did not go to visit him. He has long been out of my list of adorable relatives. Even if he is the only sibling to my mother. As with all siblings, they fight. But adults fight on adult problems, and adult problems are never easy. Lately his arguments are petty and not even considerable answering to. It adds on the dismay. Even his kids are dismayed. And his behavior is as much as you would expect a user would behave. Despite his jail time, his behavior clea...

Potato Chips. The Snack of the Millennia. "Hey, no more snacks later, okay? No midnight snack for you." Mom told me this before she went to bed. I was still up working on my computer. I like working at night because that's how I function lately. With the heat of the summer beating down on the world as long as it sits in the sky, I prefer working nights when its much cooler. But what she just said upset me. I'm not sure why. It just made me upset. I thought how dare she prevent me eating a midnight snack. I thought why should I refrain from having a snack when I work nights - people go hungry when working. I thought there goes my night life... I was upset. I didn't say anything though. I realized after moments of thinking, I was upset not because I couldn't eat - I was upset by the mere fact that I was withheld. That I was refrained from doing what I want. That this certain freedom has been abstained. That I was refuse this right. I still didn...