Similarity

 Have you been compared to one or both of your parents?

Lately, my Mom has been comparing me with my Dad, citing how similar we are or that I can be his twin.

There should be no qualms about this. After all, I am my father's daughter, we share DNA.

My only caveat is I don't like being compared to him.

Maybe a decade ago, I would be proud. He was a responsible father and a very good provider. But after 2014 I loathed being compared to him.

Especially if the comparison comes from my Mother. 

2014 was a very traumatic time in our family - my father had an affair with his high school sweetheart, has left home and has been living with her for the last decade or so.

My Dad and I share the same temperament. Our zodiac sign is Sagittarius with our birthdays with just 10 days in between. If that says anything. 

His wrongdoing offended me. It hurt when I witnessed my Mom cry over him. 30 years down the drain. The first five years there was obvious distaste when meeting with Dad. Mom refused to see him. 

Despite leaving home, he still wants a continued relationship with all three of his adult children and his grandchildren. As time went by, we became civil - THEY became civil and Dad is now welcome to visit and Mom is okay with it. 

But I am still offended when being compared to him.

I know my Mom still has hatred for my Dad. And when she tells me how similar I am to him, it feels like I am also being hated. 

But my Mom and I are very close. We're very much like the best of friends. I live with her with Grandma. We enjoy our dinners together. We laugh at memes. We share funny stories.

And being compared to my Dad and reminding her of her hate, offends me - it saddens me. That my existence reminds her of the person who has betrayed her trust and obviously has no more love for. 

I'm sure everything she says is in passing and some times she does not mean it.

But the words still hits home and I am left with dread and overthinking.