Stop the Anger
I know it's my fault. It just irritates me. Hearing her slippers shuffle along the marble floor, it triggers something in me, "Here we go again." I just feel so fucking tired. When it's night time and she's supposed to be sleeping, and suddenly here she is stumbling in the semi-darkness of the living room looking for no one in particular. And it's like a detonator, my annoyance is automatic and you can hear it in my voice when I asked her angrily, "NANAY, ANONG KAILANGAN MO?!" Of course she's looking for Mom, always looking for Mom. The fuck. They sleep in the same room. Why the fuck she starts looking elsewhere when Mom is already there?! Ah, yes. Her brain. Alzheimer's Disease. She's 90 years old. Why she got to get up in the middle of the night and annoy the fuck out of me?! I was almost pushing her with my whole body, "GABI NA PO, TUTULOG PA PO KAYO. ANG MOMMY PO NASA KWARTO NA KANINA PA, BWISET KA." The bad words just