Flicker

I have not done anything remotely related to my profession for the last 4 months of quarantine.

And I feel my skills slipping away.

Maybe I should start practicing again - despite having no prompt or proposals.

I never understood myself when I decided to go for architecture as a major in university. 

I took the entrance exams, I put the two courses I was confident I would pass on: Architecture and Civil Engineering.

Civil engineering because my Mom was one and if she could do it, why won't I?

Architecture because I took up Design Technology in science high school. And they say the next thing after that is take up something like architecture. 2 of my best friends were going for it, why won't I?

So I pass the entrance exams and was allowed on the Architecture program.

The drawing parts were easy. I've done most of the drawing exercises in high school. 

Rendering stuff or coloring was a bit on the hard part. 

Cliche college student problems - flunking higher math, skipping class for sleep, getting no sleep, running to submit late projects, doing remedial exams, doing remedial classes, summer classes. It was a journey. Even had to graduate on a summer term because I failed to submit my thesis book on time for evaluation. Graduated nonetheless.

Worked for a local architecture firm, almost immediately after graduation, with 2 friends for apprenticeship - small firm - an hour's drive from home. A senior architect was principal but was just a startup when we came in. He came back from working and living in the States for much his adult life and finally realized his dream of having his own firm. Almost felt like a family for a short time. But despite his seniority, didn't do much aside from proposals and making decision - he left all of the work, planning, drawing, buying to the 3 of us. Shit pay but, what can you do? Learned a lot at least. Went to places, saw new faces. But had to go after the 2 years to take the licensure exam.

Jobless for a long time while reviewing for that exam. Took review school with all my tight-knit group of friends. Even lived in a rundown dorm with stinking bathrooms and decaying ceilings just to be nearer the school and the exams location. Our whole group passed. One of us even made top 10. Just not me though.

Took our oaths on one of the worst days ever. A tropical cyclone was ravaging the whole nation, we had to go through 2 feet of water on the streets to get to the venue of the ceremony. Was dressed to the nines, me and my friends. And finally, a licensed and registered architect. Mom was proud, every one proud and all smiles despite the gloomy weather.

Jobless again for a long time - 3 months or so. One of my friends called and recruited us, her group of friends, to the firm she's working at. She was already working at this company in the capital during our exams. What a blessing. Passed the group interview. Stayed for 7 years plus until this pandemic hit. I was the only one left from my group of friends who came and worked along with me. Even our recruiter friend didn't stay long. 

I learned new things on this company. Interior detailing drawings was a new world to me. Not to mention we were working on hospitality projects - hotels, resorts, villas - the whole nine yards. But it was all drawing and no designing. Everything was designed by this client architecture or interior design firm. Our company draws all the designs. Every detail documented by us. I can draw a detailed cabinet with my eyes closed now. Joking aside, the work was fast-paced in peak season. And just like in university didn't get much sleep either. At least we're compensated now. 

Lived with that group of friends in a small room just 10 mins walk away from the office. In that long time, they went by and left me. I had to find new room mates. A co-worker for a year or so, a cousin for half a year and finally my own little brother for the last two years.

I had personal projects I did on the side - but project management-wise, I couldn't do it since I was moonlighting. I did manage a group for one time they made me senior architect to handle a project and be the one to commune with the client. Got through the whole thing with a hustle - all days and nights. Failed a bit on the last details but came thru nonetheless. And established my role as a senior architect who can be relied on. 

But 7 years doing the same thing over and over again made my skills dull. And staying in the office meant I didn't learn anything else. Not construction of large buildings, not project management, not building contracts, not even applying for permits - just pure and precise interior detailing. 

Now, this pandemic and the lock down it brought, slowed everything down to a standstill. Clients abroad held up projects, proposals didn't came in and worse most of us can't do anything about it. Most of the company employees lived in far provinces and came home before the lock down. The sad part is our company is on a no work, no pay basis. This meant no payroll for the last 4 months we're in the lock down. 

And this lock down, I slacked off. I slacked off hard. Slept in most days. I did nothing but glued my eyes on my laptop's screen until it was dark outside. 

And I feel my skills slipping away.